songs that make you cry.

i can never work out if that is a good thing, the ability music has to make you cry. sometimes it's a good thing, but what if you use it as a tool to make you do so because you want to feel something? i haven't done that for a very long time but right now i am listening to the sort of music that makes me want to curl up and just close my eyes and take myself away from the rest of the world. ironically, when everything is good in my life its the same music that brings a smile to my face and that i really like listening to.

i wish people cared about what really mattered. but at the same time..they're just being teenagers, like normal people. theres nothing wrong with that, its not their fault that i seem to have spent more of my life than i should have having to be the 'grown up' for other people. i don't mind it, it makes me feel needed in a way but sometimes i want someone to be the 'grown up' for me. but i don't really know who because i can't explain properly to anyone what i am thinking right now because i don't really know what to think right now.

i hate this.